“A Twonky is something you do not know what it is….” And should a Twonky inhabit a television and become a friend or partner to the depressed or mentally distressed person in an age where there is no relief for the poor but a screen… the possibilities for the world being a happier and more serene place for that individual are endless. It doesn’t complain and marriage often spoils a relationship.Ĭonried also voiced Captain Hook in Disney’s Peter Pan (1953) I guess I’ve been engaged to mine for some decades now. There have been cases where people have married their television set, I understand. It’s a nice thought.īut this is totally unrelated to The Twonky, which has the philosopher’s friend who thinks of “French fried potatoes” instead of women in his old age and tells Conried that his experience with The Twonky is all a case of auto-hallucination induced by suggestion under mental strain… “and you are hallucinating this television set is your wife”. Perhaps it taps your mind while you sleep to create these new curative visions that appear while you watch some show or movie. I mean this version of the film you are watching or the soundtrack you are hearing doesn’t really exist and would differ for each person… All thanks to some sort of alien or super intelligence feeding you this through your Smart TV. You would watch this altered vision in an almost trancelike state and – voila – all your problems, with a little bit or maybe a lot of self-analysis, eventually disappear. What if your Smart TV at home reached the point where it could read your mind or mood… where it could occasionally nod or shake its head about something rolling about in your head via horizontal or vertical hold and tell you to no longer dwell on certain negative thoughts while reminding you to watch what is on the screen? Learn the essential philosophy of feeling good or content instead of being depressed by simply obeying the prompts on your television… In essence your Smart TV could give you renewed confidence or motivation for yourself to stack the dishwasher or if you’re poor like me, hand wash… Perhaps your Smart TV or Twonky could be clever enough to sort out your psychological problems by creating a program which reflects part of the sum total of past events in your life gathered by a super intelligence and teach you the lessons you missed from these past events, or even fill in the gaps and tell you why certain events happened in your life so you could face them and finally forget them… And this super intelligence could do this simply by altering say one of your favourite movies with a new soundtrack to the vision or even altered visual scenes…Ĭould the mental ills of the average human be solved by your smart tv? One of the luxuries of having a Twonky around the house…. It enters the room like some dog and even stacks the dishwasher… Pretty good for a tv… Perhaps we haven’t reached that stage yet in terms of technology… and never will. But this tv is a Twonky, as it will light your cigarette with a laser beam while not yet plugged into the wall.Ĭan you imagine a television that really is smarter than yourself and has a life of its own, or what seems like thoughts of its own? … The Twonky can walk on all four legs as it remotely pays for itself by conjuring money from mid-air (it turns out to be counterfeit) … now I’d like that to happen… It’s just the life of the Twonky only happens in the presence of the professor and maybe a drunken friend of his. He is a philosophy lecturer and his wife has bought a television set “to keep you company while I’m gone.” Conried’s wife leaves him with the set and a tv guide with nothing in particular to watch, except maybe The Trials of Trilby. Welcome to the happy family of television owning reads a brochure in the hands of actor Hans Conried (1917-82 heart attack) about his new television. It may frighten you – it may amuse you, but it may happen to you tomorrow…” The Twonky opens with the sentences: “We bring you a strange story about a thing out of space.
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